CatDecenzo’s Weblog

Just some mundane madness

Twitter Dum Twitter Dee

twitter_of_the_shrew

Twitter, oh, Twitter. I debated even looking at it when it first became popular, spending way too much time on Facebook as it is.  But I’ve crossed over to the dark side, and I don’t think there’s a vaccine for this kind of addiction.

I am now Twitter’s bitch. Most of the people I follow are a cast of characters that would put a Nora Ephron casting call to shame. I know I’ve been on way too long, because I often have dreams about the fabulous sitcom one could create within this walk of shame, and the abundance of humorous one-liners and quips. I think there is quite an art to digesting life’s ups and downs into 140 characters. Trust me. It’s not easy.

I am pretty selective about who I follow.  If I don’t have coffee snorting out my nose, if I’m not peeing in my pants, or if I don’t find myself saying “OMG [in big capital letters], I’ve so been there,” then I probably won’t follow. I don’t follow celebrities…they’re whores already.  I like to give the rest of the common folk a chance. I follow new moms, authors, cartoonists, sparring couples, folks from different parts of the world, hot chicks, bad boys, soldiers, grumpy old men and lovely aging women.

Some people say it is an enormous time waster. If you are a multi-tasker, however, and know how to discipline yourself and know how to do things with one hand [insert giggle here], it can be done. [Training tip #1: You just must take caution, however, if you find yourself even saying words, like,  “with one hand,” you will get some people following you, uninvited, who are ready to do all kinds of things to you “with one hand.” That’s the ewwww factor you must learn to live with…then proceed to chopblock them.]

TwitterChurchThere is an unwritten rule amongst my Twitter family. We are there to hold each other up, touch each other inappropriately, question – and embrace – each other’s motives. Being devious is a delight. Menacing is encouraged, although no meanness is allowed. Having a flair for fun reaps its own rewards. It’s the one family you can actually depend on that will NOT make you feel unworthy, unloved, too short, too fat, too boring, or just that you are a downright pain in the ass. And if someone does, it’s as easy as pushing a button to get them removed from the family.  And if that doesn’t work, well, there’s always Uncle Nunzio. But I digress…

Everything and everyone is fair game on Twitter.  In-laws, boogers, sex, no sex, and other taboo subjects that will never end up on Facebook, less you be the wrath of your sons and daughters, nieces, nephews and their friends, and their friends, and their friends. Nobody on Twitter will ever roll their eyes, and say “O, mommmmmm.” [Training tip No. 2: We know you love your children, but do them a favor – just don’t.]

Many say, “Now, why would I want to hear about somebody having a cup of coffee or going to the bathroom?” It’s not the cup of coffee, it’s the capability to make yours blurt out your nose when you read their take on it.  It’s not about going to the bathroom, it’s about some of the more intimate details going on in that bathroom, both clean and dirty. Another ewww factor. Sweet.

So if you just don’t get Twitter, then you just don’t get it. And we appreciate that you resist the temptation to follow.  It’s not that you might lack a sense of humor…well, yeah, you probably do…but we’re really afraid you just might tell mom on  us.

November 13, 2009 Posted by | Hobbies, Random | , , | Leave a comment

As Real as It Gets

Photoshop

The "real" designer's Photoshop...click to enlarge.

See it in the making…

November 10, 2008 Posted by | Hobbies | , , | Leave a comment

Eye of the Beholder

I think I’m in the wrong business. I’ve always had an appreciation for good art, even though I’ve learned through the years that art, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Although I have a degree in commercial art, and have dabbled here and there letting the creative genes I received from my parents flow from my pores, I am guilty of using a lot of excuses for putting my art on the back burner…raising children while working full time, needing to be in the “right mood,” watching Will & Grace reruns on the boob tube, etc.

And I’ve always been very hard on myself when it comes to my artwork…not sure what’s behind that. But I think I’m cured. It’s taken me a long time to realize it’s not what you put down on the paper/canvas/photograph, it’s what you do with it – or who you pay to do something with it – that counts.

Case in point: I fell across these little ditties by artist Robert Rauschenberg. While I commend his talent in expressionism, uh, I’m going to go out on a limb and say something that I hate….something that many people say when they look at a piece of abstract art.  “Oh, man, I could do that!”

But really.  I COULD do that! There’s a filthy broom I have that’s been leaning against the back of my house, and there are some old tires down by the garbage dump near those new houses going up in my neighborhood, and, well, I’m not sure what that other scene is – a piece of construction floating in the water? That might be a challenge…

Although he has since passed, God rest his soul, the man had the right idea! Only problem today is if I go wandering onto a construction site with my camera, I’m sure Homeland Security will be breathing down my neck strap.

But I’ll let the man speak for himself…old Bob had some pretty sweet quotations that just goes to show that we all set way too many limits on ourselves:

  • “I think a painting is more like the real world if it’s made out of the real world”
  • “You begin with the possibilities of the material”
  • “Screwing things up is a virtue.  Being correct is never the point.  Being right can stop all the momentum of a very interesting idea.”

Think I’m going to go dig those stinky potato peels out of the trash…they have possibilities…

October 31, 2008 Posted by | Hobbies | , , , , | 2 Comments

Hot Rod, Honey

 

32 Deuce Coupe

Ima LaDeuce...

The Mister and I have been bad.  Bad, I tell ya. We – well, he – recently got a wild hair up his arse and decided he was going to buy himself – well, us – something he’s wanted for years – a 32 Deuce Coupe.  Yup, one of those bright, yellow hot rods that rolled down Main Street on American Graffiti, with Mackenzie Phillips in all her prepubescent, pimply glory hanging on The Greaser.

It’s called canary yellow, but it’s more like a canary that accidentally flew through Three Mile Island and never stopped glowing. I’m pretty conservative, and never really liked bringing attention to myself in that kind of “loud” way. But lately I’m learning – tiny steps, they say – to unabashedly rock through the neighborhood in it. I’m actually enjoying heads turning, dogs barking, and kids instinctively knowing that it is the coolest thing since seeing the heroic Autobot in the Transformers movie.

“Uh, but, why?” most people ask me when I tell them what we’ve purchased.  And I love the fact that I can’t really answer that question.  You either get it or you don’t. It reminds me of being a football mom, when other moms who were pondering whether to allow their sons to join football, would say “You mean your son has to practice EVERY NIGHT of the week!!?”  I just looked at them like “You just don’t get it…”

And after our first car show we entered the other day and winning our first generic “winner’s” plaque….I get it. And after smelling the car when I open the garage door…I get it. And when my eyes light up looking at the bling-bling large chromey manstuff in the front…I get it.

A neighbor said to me the other day, “So now that he’s got his new toy, what do you get?” (Beg yer pardon?)

I just said “Can you spell C A R T E  B L A N C H E?”

September 9, 2008 Posted by | Hobbies | , | 4 Comments